St. Patrick's Day & Just... Life!

Are people gearing up for Saint Patrick's Day? Or is it just extra busy out because it's Spring Break? I don't know, but I'm ready for my day off tomorrow... Saint Patrick's Day! It literally snuck up on me. Honestly. I just realized less than two minutes ago that tomorrow is in fact Saint Patrick's Day. It's also an old high school friend's bday. I haven't talked to him in I don't know how many years!! Some things you never forget... Interesting.

I've been having weird dreams lately. Maybe it's a bit of a guilty conscience(no, I don't have any qualms about admitting that I feel guilt but no one's going to take advantage of that) and silent worries that truly require no discussion right now. One dream involved my ex-husband and an ex-acquaintance. They were walking together on a pier with my daughter, talking amongst themselves, while I was on the outside feeling a sense of urgency to be noticed and included in the activities but they acted like I wasn't there. I will say I have this fear of losing my daughter, not physically but in an emotional way. We're all still adjusting and she's 3, always testing her limits, and no one truly knows what goes on elsewhere yet everyone attests to their own proper disciplinary actions. Last night, I had a dream that I went to the hospital for testing on the IBS issues and came out with a results sheet that also tested 2 out of 3 positive for pregnancy. I won't get into exactly how that word is highly unlikely to come up in my "life here and now" vocabulary, but I decided to look it up in my dream dictionary: "May refer to a desire for a child; a new area of your potential or personality developing". Okay, desire... Maybe biologically, but mentally and physically... No. I know that much lol. I remember everything I went through with Ally and while I wouldn't give that back for the world, I am hesitant to go through it again. This is where I mention my boyfriend and how helpful I know he would be through life situations like that and how sad I am that I couldn't have met him sooner, yada yada, but I've never mentioned him here... How's that for a transition?

My divorce was final on December 1. Should have been final by the end of October, but could've been/should've been. Oh well. The time between leaving my marriage and meeting my boyfriend was...worth forgetting. I went blank at was and thought, "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." Just leave it. I talked with Tim online for about a month before our first date on December 17th. If he ever forgets that, he's a sad sap because it's the day before his daughter's birthday. :P Thinking back on that day, he didn't seem like my type at all. As we talked, that all changed. It reminds me of this Marilyn Monroe quote, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." Pretty sure I began falling for him the very day I met him. I had fears/uncertainties just like everyone does, but you choose to look past them for the sake of it all, closing your eyes and taking a leap of faith. The happiness I have with him erases a lot of the troubles I've had in the past and makes me want to be a better person. It's completely cliche, but I'm okay with that because it's true for both of us. It's not like I'm in denial and making it up on my end. He feels it too. Oh no, we're both in denial! Lol. We have a strange connection to each other that we've not felt before. We've always called it strange, wonderfully strange because there's nothing strange about it being wonderful. It's great and we're settling into living our lives together now, catching any moment we can to spend it together. It's the kind of love I wish for everyone else that I honestly never expected to experience myself. I need this reminder for myself when I have those days where nothing seems to go right. I have this and my baby girl...

Speaking of Miss Allybug herself, I hear from her dad that she has gotten her first disciplinary note from daycare. She kept getting out of her seat during "preschool". Seems that she is acting out a bit lately on both ends. She's also become quite the storyteller in the worst way possible. Could be something she's watching on tv. I mean, the daycare allows slapstick cartoons like Spongebob and such which is kind of violent for kids her age. I'm not sure how to approach it to keep her from getting someone in trouble by saying they're hitting her and making sure she knows she can come to mommy and daddy if someone truly is hurting her. Our first tough situation that needs to be addressed. Ahh, parenthood. Any tips or advice is welcome on this one. I'll get to pick her up Saturday afternoon and will have to sit her down for a talk about it.

It's almost time for me to go, so I need to check out of the web and check in with my flat iron steaming on the bathroom counter after I get myself dressed for work. More thoughts and ramblings to come from me at a later time. Til then...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
~ Marilyn Monroe