Never Been Normal

Tim and I talked about it and pointed out how I ha...

2011-04-03T11:12:34.910-05:00

Tim and I talked about it and pointed out how I have a history of a lot if not all of the symptoms it can aggravate. The "amazing results" thing is tempting; I'd love to have clear beautiful skin, but I've had similar reactions to medications that are the same as the symptoms Accutane can have-vision impairment, headaches, bowel problems, depression. Had I not been rushed through the process, I would have requested we try a different route. I have no money left in my HMO to go back so any further costs would be out of pocket and I just can't afford it. I'm hoping my insurance will even cover what was already done since it wasn't "medically" necessary and could all be considered cosmetic. Eh. C'est la vie for me!!

I have a friend who was or may still be on Accutan...

2011-04-02T18:42:31.899-05:00

I have a friend who was or may still be on Accutane. On the pack of pills it shows all the deformations that can happen to your baby if you happen to get pregnant while taking it. If you are being safe that shouldn't be an issue- the big issue is the mental problems it can cause. serious mental problems.
The lady who told you not to look into it is an idiot, it is a huge decision. MTV did an entire Tue Life episode on it. Doctors suggest you get continuing psychological therapy while using it to make sure you don't go and off yourself- its that kind of serious. However, it has AMAZING results- so it all depends on how well you think you can mentally handle a drug as intense as that

Been hiding under that stupid rock, throwing mysel...

2011-03-16T13:00:35.037-05:00

Been hiding under that stupid rock, throwing myself into the day to day of my work to ignore the thoughts in my head. Time to get them out where they belong and work on me again. I deserve it no matter what, for me and everyone else in my life. I look forward to catching up with you!! Am I still on the forum or did I get removed for inactivity? I don't remember the link!

good to hear from you again. all the ladies have b...

2011-03-16T08:46:30.848-05:00

good to hear from you again. all the ladies have been worried about you!

I know you two(and lots of other people I'm su...

2010-08-02T12:36:27.769-05:00

I know you two(and lots of other people I'm sure) don't agree with what I'm doing. That's why I referred to it as judging. If not, then I apologize for jumping the gun on it. It's like when someone dies though, there's truly nothing you can say to make it better... We are where we are and it is what it is. Like after any kind of destruction, you have to clear away the debris and rebuild no matter how hard it is...

"Do what makes you happy" is such a pointless comment right now because nothing I'm doing is resulting in immediate satisfaction. It's going to take time to get things sorted out, but I can see where I feel best and it's away from this person who proclaims to me that he cares nothing about my feelings and I can just get over it(whatever it is that he wants to throw at me) when I'm nearly bending over backwards to be kind and respectful after the mistakes I made, but I won't bend so far over that I don't get to spend quality time with my daughter; I can deal with losing money and assets, but that I cannot.

I don't know why I even typed all that out! /end rant I suppose.

You can take my comments as judging you but they a...

2010-08-02T10:53:39.846-05:00

You can take my comments as judging you but they aren't. I simply offered to give ya'll a perspective that other people may have not given you yet. I guess I just care enough that I don't want everyone telling you what you want to hear or simply saying "I want you to be happy." because it is easier for them to say that than something you might not want to hear (but might need to hear)- that is the knee jerk reaction of my first comment. Sorry I butted in and I will go back to minding my own business and keeping my mouth shut.

It's easy to make comments and judgments when ...

2010-08-02T09:30:53.055-05:00

It's easy to make comments and judgments when you're not the one living in the situation(yes, I know you've been there done that, but every situation is unique). Ally's temperament is so much better when D and I are APART. She can sense everything. No where in this post did I say that no one else's happiness mattered. If I didn't care about anyone's happiness, then hell I'd make nice and stay with D where I could potentially quit my job and have a free ride to do nothing(as long as I lived a lie). That would be the easy road for me, except for the lying part. But I know I wouldn't be happy and could lead myself back into old habits that I worked so hard to break. Ally would sense the tension and it would be obvious that I'd be depressed. Where would the happiness be? I'm just trying to do what is best for our situation...

I guess that is all...

Oh and by the way that was me. It was defaulted to...

2010-08-01T21:15:43.185-05:00

Oh and by the way that was me. It was defaulted to Anon. Anyway - if you want to talk about how divorce effects kids for the rest of their life or any other cold hard facts I can discuss it with you. I'll be honest I am not going to tell you what you want to hear or give you the old "I want you to be happy spin". That goes for you and D both - I can talk to both of you.

So one person's happiness is all that matters ...

2010-08-01T21:01:34.138-05:00

So one person's happiness is all that matters no matter who it hurts...even kids?

screw what other people think. You have to do what...

2010-08-01T00:03:21.902-05:00

screw what other people think. You have to do what's best for you, regardless of others' opinions. They don't matter. Your happiness does. Period.

ditto above. And I think if he wants to leave, he ...

2010-06-14T22:59:03.944-05:00

ditto above. And I think if he wants to leave, he can man up and sleep on the couch instead of waking you up. You shouldn't have to take it all on yourself!

So sorry that things are rough with you right now....

2010-06-14T22:52:46.176-05:00

So sorry that things are rough with you right now. Don't let stress push you back into being someone you don't want to be, though. Be your best advocate! And get some rest! =(

Well, you know my take on the whole situation- I j...

2010-05-22T23:55:10.530-05:00

Well, you know my take on the whole situation- I just hope you can find a direction that makes you HAPPY and fulfilled in the long run.. and not just for now.

I've been in my own little funk so I've ne...

2010-05-14T17:23:20.745-05:00

I've been in my own little funk so I've neglected reading my usual blogs. This means I've missed your latest posts. Seriously, it's like you're my "sista from another mister".

If anyone knows how you're feeling now ... where you're at ... it's ME! I am RIGHT THERE with you right now. I do feel like I'm climbing out of it, though.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I wish you the best as you work on sorting all the med issues out! HANG IN THERE!

Crappy! But at least now you have recent job exper...

2010-05-07T20:18:03.737-05:00

Crappy! But at least now you have recent job experience and can get a better job that doesn't treat you like shit!

Terrie, I am so sorry you're going through suc...

2010-05-03T11:38:38.184-05:00

Terrie, I am so sorry you're going through such a difficult time, and you need to remember how important it is to stick to your guns and have your emotional needs met. You CANNOT just roll over and let people take what they need from you. Hard as it may be you need to be true to yourself. Please contact me anytime you need to talk!

I think I posted this a day late or something... ...

2010-04-18T07:36:25.974-05:00

I think I posted this a day late or something... I just noticed it said I posted it yesterday, but I think it was meant for Friday LOL.

Thank you, though. I'm trying my hardest and it will only get harder if they don't keep me after the remodel. More wait and see!

you are a strong woman, don't forget that!

2010-04-17T23:15:55.648-05:00

you are a strong woman, don't forget that!

There is nothing wrong with having different likes...

2010-04-14T22:28:38.620-05:00

There is nothing wrong with having different likes and dislikes as long as y'all have other things in common. Concentrate on those things instead of the differences. If things are getting that bad I really urge you both to try marriage counseling. Being a kid of divorce I know what that is like, not a decision to be made lightly. Trust me C and I had a moment like this early in our marriage too, the first few years are always hard.

You are right love isn't about changing someone it is about learning compromise. If he wants to try (even if it is forced) that is a good thing, let him. You never know he might actually end up liking the hiking. Also what are you doing in response to this? Is there something he likes that you don't - would you be willing to try for him. When you both "take a walk in the others shoes" it might be an eye opening experience.

Remember you don't have to like or do absolutely everything together. I mean if C want's to watch DR Giggles or kill bill or something - I am taking my book and going to the bedroom to read :P Oh and as far as "zing" do you think the working out changes and etc could be having an effect on that? Hormone change and stuff? Even the new change/stress of work might be subconsciously causing trouble ..I don't know...

I hope y'all can work it out and seriously professionals might be helpful. I will shut my pie hole and mind my business now. Love ya both!

It is going to take you both some time to adjust t...

2010-04-07T09:45:40.350-05:00

It is going to take you both some time to adjust to this "new" life. It is tough when both people work and are tired...sometimes you just have to let things slide and sometimes you just have to make a list and divide it up. Hang in there, I am sure y'all will get it worked out soon.

*hugs*

The only reason I survive each day is one thing, c...

2010-03-31T20:34:10.821-05:00

The only reason I survive each day is one thing, coffee. I confess I haven't worked out in WEEKS....just no motivation for it at all. Hopefully I will kick back up into it soon.

You too? I swear, I thought it was just ME! I we...

2010-03-31T05:50:47.883-05:00

You too? I swear, I thought it was just ME! I went to bed around 8 last night, so I got a bit more sleep and even woke up right before my alarm went off! :)

You're right. I'm generally moving 8 hours a day now, whereas before my movement was limited to an hour 3 days a week! How long did it take you to get used to the extra movement? My feet and legs are still killing me by the end of some days. Some days not so much depending on the kind of work I'm doing.

I need to take my meds and get my hair color rinsed out. Another manic morning as I get my day started. Thanks Dani!

Be kind to yourself as you adjust to your new sche...

2010-03-30T23:09:12.258-05:00

Be kind to yourself as you adjust to your new schedule. As someone who is cranky if I don't get about 10 hours of sleep, I definitely know where you are coming from.

But you are doing it! You're moving! You're active. The "intentional exercise" will come eventually once you're used to the transition. I just know it!

YOU CAN DO IT!

Now get some rest! =P

Happy Bird-day to your mom! Sorry to hear about th...

2010-03-26T22:28:26.817-05:00

Happy Bird-day to your mom! Sorry to hear about that swine flu. That sucks! I hope she's recovering comfortably.

It's like we have the same job!

I just found your blog (Im from MS too) and wanted...

2010-03-25T12:55:23.865-05:00

I just found your blog (Im from MS too) and wanted to say hey